My Sister, she ...
I'm not feeling well,
Nouns, verbs, prepositions, sounding swell,
Parallelism, redundancy, no way to tell.
Our language is going straight to hell!
Verb and noun solder,
Could it be odder?
Jocks do not disturb,
Defense is not a verb!
Our speech a fricassee,
Because of you, or because of me?
Current practice a kick in the knee.
Lessons now are taught by TV,
But, are better confined to the privy.
One thing making me scowl,
The interchangeable vowel!

Swim in the "Golf" of Mexico,
A crucial, grammatical portico?
I don't think so!
Play a round of "gulf" at the club,
No, not me, get a sub!
"Remimber" "Ten" Pan Alley?
Long before Clapton's "Lay Down Sally."
My anger is resonant,
At the disappearing consonant!

Clinton or Clinon,
Hard to reckon.
Sentence or senence?
All such nonsense!
Anchor people please beware,
It's proper language, not market share.
Our language's fate?
Enunciate, enunciate, enunciate!
Avant Garde affectation,
Or language desecration?

You say goff,
Sorry, but I must scoff.
I'm really teed right off!
Not to be obsessive,
But plural or possessive?

"Apple's $.99" for one?
Of one, or more than one?
What punctuation fun!
A lesser, tasteless, tragedy,
Indiscriminate use of the apostrophe.
Let me be clear on this subject,
No misunderstanding, or I object,
Language abusers, be circumspect!